Bagram Fat Camp

OK- before I came home, I had not told anyone at home that I have been dieting.  Over the last 5 months, I have lost about 18 pounds.  It has been incredibly difficult.  I have eaten less and exercised more than I ever thought I could.  For years, I had thought I “couldn’t “ lose weight.  Because I had tried- believe me- I had tried!   But I didn’t try as hard as I had while deployed.  And I’m not sure I could have done it at home because I could not have exercised as much as I did while deployed.

It all started in May when I went to the dietician and asked for help.  She had worked one on one with some other folks and they had done really well.  I had already been used to logging my calories and exercise for years- sometimes seriously and sometimes off and on.  Mostly reactively- I’d log calories and then reflect that I had gone over my goal and move on.  Not really planning my day.  So I met with her and she came up with guidelines- this many starches, this much protein, etc.  I took that and came up with rules- 2 cups of veggies and 3-4 oz of lean protein for lunch, for example.  Using those guidelines, I could go to the dining hall and choose what I was in the mood for. 

The other thing she did was make me put my scale away.  I am used to weighing in at least once a day.  My morning weight doesn’t determine my mood for the day, but I want to know what it is.  I’ll often weigh in after a workout to see how much I sweated.  Then weigh in before bed to see how much I gained during the day.  When we talked about putting the scale away, it was really scary to me!  I cried.  I would not have predicted that I would react that way, but I did.  I was all stressed out at the thought that a whole week could go by and I would not know how I was doing.  I was worried that my weight could get away from me in just a week of not monitoring it.  That was terrifying.  I think I realized at that point that I had a problem.

The next thing I learned was how I think about food.  I think about food all day long.  From the time I wake up, I am thinking about what I will eat for breakfast.  Then I am planning my lunch and dinner throughout the day.  I was taught to not throw food away, so it was a new concept for me to go through the chow hall line and say I only wanted a small amount, they give me whatever I want and then I have to throw some out because they gave me way too much.  Just knowing they gave me too much and not wanting to waste it was stressful.  But I eventually learned to just eat the parts that were really good and stop when I was full.  And don't think about all those starving Afghans or the cost of wasted food when I throw the extra away.

My other big weakness is sweet snacks.  I love chocolate and all kinds of candy!  And I like it every day.  I can’t imagine how people say they never eat sweets.  Or they are giving up sweets.  I think I’m addicted.  And I don't say that lightly.  I think about it all the time.  I think of ways to get it.  I get stressed if I can’t have it.  If I don't get it when I want it, I keep thinking about it.  If they found out that chocolate causes cancer, I’d be in huge trouble!    So I had to learn how to cut back on those, just eat smaller amounts, eat them slowly, and love every bite.  I had done that in the past, so I knew it was doable.

Exercise- wow!  I exercised at least 90 minutes per day.  When logged my calories, turns out I averaged 1150 calories per workout.  That’s a lot!!  I did 6 workouts per week.  I did take one day off!  And when I start something and get serious about it, I get a bit obsessive.  I logged every calorie I took in and every one I burned off.  At the end of the week, I printed out my log and analyzed where I could have done better and tried to do better the next week.  I learned what to avoid, what things I can’t have or have to instantly get rid of half of it when they put it on my plate, and what I can have tons of.  What satisfies and what doesn’t.  And what size meals work for me.  I have discovered that a huge breakfast of 600 calories or so holds me well until lunch.

This journey has not been easy.  I have hit plateaus that stress me out.  I think there are days when I have over exercised.  I know that I cannot exercise this much when now that I am home.  I think I can maintain the lower calories for a couple of more weeks until I get to my ultimate goal (after a couple of weeks of enjoying American food again, of course!).  I’m looking forward to getting back to maintenance calories.

Anyway- that’s been my journey and project over the last 3-4 months.  I was surprised at what an emotional issue this was for me.  I didn’t post this until I got home and talked to Jack about it.  I can't wait to go clothes shopping!