Random Thoughts

I'm always thinking up these great ideas for blog entries when I have no way to write them down.  then I forget them and you don't get to hear my awesome thoughts!  Bummer.  I had one while I was running this AM and now I have no idea what it was.....maybe I should take a marker with me everywhere and then I could write it somewhere on myself even if I don;t have a piece of paper.


I had a facial today and got my lip waxed for the first time ever. I'm sure you needed to know that.  My son teases me about my mustache sometimes, so maybe he'll be happy now.  The facial was about 20 minutes long- supposed to be 30.  And there was a bout a 10 minute break in the middle while my mask set.  I fell asleep during that!  It was kind of great.  But the whole entire session cost $9.  That was worth it.  i have my lat massage at Bagram scheduled for next Sunday.  After my facial, I cleaned my room and then went to see a movie- Sex and the City.  It was pretty good.  Saw Robin Hood a few days ago- loved it!  And skipped out of work to see Karate Kid yesterday- loved it!  It was the same story as the first time around, but updated for modern audiences.  Enough similarities to make it similar, enough differences to keep it interesting.  And Jaden  Smith is so cute!  Plus, I like Jackie Chan.


I've been slowly packing my junk and mailing it home.  Finishing up some things at work.  But all in all, I am very low stress right now.  Which is very good!  I've been getting to bed mostly on time.  I exercise 6 days a week.  I've been eating healthy.  I feel great.  Wish life could stay like this once I get home!

  

Coming Home Soon

If all goes according to plan, two weeks from today I leave for home.  (Don't tell the kids!  We'll let them know when it's solid).  You would think that I would be ecstatic about this, but I will confess that there are mixed feelings.  Everyone has them, but most people don’t talk about them.  Going home is wonderful and hard at the same time.  I’ve done this a few times now- once after 3 months and once after 1 month- but never after this long.  Jack has been at home with the kids and they have been living their separate lives.  They eat what they want (I can only imagine!!), go to bed when they want, do whatever.  I have no control over that stuff from here.  Jack is a wonderful dad and I rarely worry about the kids when they are in his care, but he is a different parent than me and it has been all him for 6 months.  He watches what he wants on tv, goes out when he wants, comes in when he wants and never has to check in with me.  Then there’s me and what I have been doing for 6 months.  I get up when I want, go to the gym, basically come and go as I  please and rarely check in with anyone.  I take off during the day if I feel like it.  My stress levels are low.  The work is manageable.  And fun. 


When I get home, it all changes. I can’t wait to see my family again.  I miss my kids and I miss my husband.  I am looking forward to so many things, like wearing a dress, wearing my hair down, cooking, walking barefoot in the grass, shopping, hanging with friends, drinking wine, going out to restaurants, going to my kids sporting events, and a million other things.  But life is so simple here!  I work out, work, eat, read and sleep. 

Another side of having been here is I have learned that I love the low stress life.  Makes me re-evaluate what I want out of life.  I miss clinical medicine.  I have leadership aspirations in the Air Force, but there is a lot of stuff I just don't like.  A lot of the minutia is a pain in the butt and I just don’t care.  I’d like to see how far I can go up the food chain, but I’m starting to think that’s just not much fun.  I loved my teaching job and I love seeing patients.  But then I think- I can do that when I retire.  Which I can do in just 4-5 years- wow!!!  I have a business plan in mind and have even started to think of names for my practice.  By then, I want to work for fun.


 I can't wait to get home, but I know from experience that transitions are hard.  Expectations are high.  For some families, it doesn’t go well.  I hope it goes well for us.

Adventurous Afghan Food

So we went back to the UAE dining hall for dinner tonight.  They had some stuff I had never seen before.  When I started looking closely at the fish I had gotten, there was an eyeball in it!  I did not eat that.  then i was poking through some other unrecognizable stuff that actually looked pretty good.  This one bit looked like a stem of cauliflower, but not quite.  When I looked closer it on cross section, it was shaped like a butterfly. Then it hit me what it was!!!  Any guesses?  Doctors?  I showed it to the neurosurgeon sitting across from me and told her she would know- took her a couple of seconds to blurt out- Spinal Cord!  yup.....  I tried to cut a little piece off as i was weighing the adventure of trying spinal cord vs the possibility of get CJD (spongy brain disease) when my plastic knife broke.  So I bit off a little piece.  It was OK.  Hopefully I won;t regret that in 20-30 years.
They also had these little donut hole things that were quite good.


They had a lot of different foods and I'm not sure if it's because of Ramadan or some other reason.  Here's a primer on Ramadan so you can be in the know.

Ramadan, the Month of Fasting

·  The Meaning of Ramadan

Ramadan is a special month of the year for over one billion Muslims throughout the world. It is a time for inner reflection, devotion to God, and self-control. Muslims think of it as a kind of tune-up for their spiritual lives. There are as many meanings of Ramadan as there are Muslims.

The third "pillar" or religious obligation of Islam, fasting has many special benefits. Among these, the most important is that it is a means of learning self-control. Due to the lack of preoccupation with the satisfaction of bodily appetites during the daylight hours of fasting, a measure of ascendancy is given to one's spiritual nature, which becomes a means of coming closer to God. Ramadan is also a time of intensive worship, reading of the Qur'an, giving charity, purifying one's behavior, and doing good deeds.

As a secondary goal, fasting is a way of experiencing hunger and developing sympathy for the less fortunate, and learning to thankfulness and appreciation for all of God's bounties. Fasting is also beneficial to the health and provides a break in the cycle of rigid habits or overindulgence.

·  Who Fasts in Ramadan?

While voluntary fasting is recommended for Muslims, during Ramadan fasting becomes obligatory. Sick people, travelers, and women in certain conditions are exempted from the fast but must make it up as they are able. Perhaps fasting in Ramadan is the most widely practiced of all the Muslim forms of worship.

·  The Sighting of the Moon

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. The much-anticipated start of the month is based on a combination of physical sightings of the moon and astronomical calculations. The practice varies from place to place, some places relying heavily on sighting reports and others totally on calculations. In the United States, most communities follow the decision of the Islamic Society of North America, which accepts bonafide sightings of the new moon anywhere in the United States as the start of the new month. The end of the month, marked by the celebration of 'Eid-ul-Fitr, is similarly determined.

·  From Dawn to Sunset

The daily period of fasting starts at the breaking of dawn and ends at the setting of the sun. In between -- that is, during the daylight hours -- Muslims totally abstain from food, drink, smoking, and marital sex. The usual practice is to have a pre-fast meal (suhoor) before dawn and a post-fast meal (iftar) after sunset.

The Islamic lunar calendar, being 11 to 12 days shorter than the Gregorian calendar, migrates throughout the seasons. Thus, since Ramadan begins on January 20 or 21 this year, next year it will begin on January 9 or 10. The entire cycle takes around 35 years. In this way, the length of the day, and thus the fasting period, varies in length from place to place over the years. Every Muslim, no matter where he or she lives, will see an average Ramadan day of the approximately 13.5 hours.

·  Devotion to God

The last ten days of Ramadan are a time of special spiritual power as everyone tries to come closer to God through devotions and good deeds. The night on which the first verses of the Qur'an were revealed to the Prophet, known as the Night of Power (Lailat ul-Qadr), is generally taken to be the 27th night of the month. The Qur'an states that this night is better than a thousand months. Therefore many Muslims spend the entire night in prayer.

During the month, Muslims try to read as much of the Qur'an as they can. Most try to read the whole book at least once. Some spend part of their day listening to the recitation of the Qur'an in a mosque.

·  Food in Ramadan

Since Ramadan is a special time, Muslims in many parts of the world prepare certain favorite foods during this month.

It is a common practice for Muslims to break their fast at sunset with dates (iftar), following the custom of Prophet Muhammad. This is followed by the sunset prayer, which is followed by dinner. Since Ramadan emphasizes community aspects and since everyone eats dinner at the same time, Muslims often invite one another to share in the Ramadan evening meal.

Some Muslims find that they eat less for dinner during Ramadan than at other times due to stomach contraction. However, as a rule, most Muslims experience little fatigue during the day since the body becomes used to the altered routine during the first week of Ramadan.

·  The Spirit of Ramadan

Muslims use many phrases in various languages to congratulate one another for the completion of the obligation of fasting and the 'Eid-ul-Fitr festival. Here is a sampling of them:

"Kullu am wa antum bi-khair" (May you be well throughout the year) - Arabic

"Atyab at-tihani bi-munasabat hulul shahru Ramadan al-Mubarak" (The most precious congratulations on the occasion of the coming of Ramadan) - Arabic

"Elveda, ey Ramazan" (Farewell, O Ramadan) - Turkish

"Kullu am wa antum bi-khair" (May you be well throughout the year) - Arabic

"'Eid mubarak (A Blessed 'Eid)" - universal 

Tears

So there I was.  Sitting in the smoke shack, reading Bill O'Reilly and smoking a cigar.  A couple of F-15s took off and I got a chill.  Then for some reason I started to cry.  Not sure why.  But it made me sad.  Whenever they take off, I'm not sure if it's just a routine mission where they are providing support, or if they have been called out on a specific support mission to get some guys out of trouble.  Many of the Army units have an Air Force JTAC (Joint Tactical Air Controller) with them who communicate with the Air Force and give the planes the coordinates to shoot or drop a bomb or something.  If they are calling in a jet to bomb so close to their own unit, things are going very badly.  Anyway, every time I see a jet take off I wonder it it's routine or they are going to save our guys.  


In morning I see the MRAPs heading out on patrol and I say a prayer that they will come home safely.   Many evenings I see them come back and I say another prayer thanking God that they came home.  Last night we got 3 traumas from one of the Forward Operating Bases.  They were the guys that headed out in the morning not knowing what they would run into.  One guy had his jaw broken, another had his arm filleted open to relieve the pressure of the swollen muscles, and another had his leg amputated above the knee.  I watched our amazing ER crew take care of them.....the Soldier with the amputation needed blood and it was being hung by the nurse 1 minute and 45 seconds after the doctor ordered it.  Incredible!  I stayed late and watched each of their surgeries.  They had their wounds explored, cleaned and dressed.  The Soldier with the broken jaw had his jaw wired.  They will all go to Germany in the next 48 hours or so for further care.  After staying there for as long as it takes to get them well stabilized (maybe a few days to a week), they will fly to Walter Reed, where their families can meet them.


I read the Air Force times every week and in each issue I read the names of all the personnel who have been killed.  There used to be a few every week.  Now, the entire page is filled with names.  I read each name and how he or she died.  I figure it's the least I can do to honor their memory.

War Wounded Story on CNN

Barbara Starr from CNN was here last month.  She followed some wounded Soldiers from the level 1 medical care facility, here to Bagram, and then to Lanstuhl Army Medical Center.  After their treatment there, they went to Andrews and on to Walter Reed.  We watched it on tv yesterday and it was kind of corny, but to regular people it's probably pretty good.  Here is the story on the internet.  Try to catch it running on CNN if you can!


http://afghanistan.blogs.cnn.com/2010/08/02/the-journey-home-from-the-frontlines-of-war/

What I Have Learned in Afghanistan

My friend, Lucinda Valenti, wrote this.  She was our chaplain until a few weeks ago.  I thought this had a lot of truth to it.



Things I have learned in Afghanistan:
-It is okay for a big burly Marine to hold his badly hurt buddy’s hand  while they are lying on stretchers waiting to be loaded on an airplane to go home.
-It is okay for nurses to cry over pts.
-It is okay for me to cry with the nurses.
-It is okay for me to sit in the middle of the hallway praying with a soldier for his buddy lying in ICU.
-It is okay to laugh when an 18 yr. old soldier says-“Afghanistan is not so bad except for the bullets.” (Said as he lying on a gurney shot up).
-It is okay to call in help when the patient I am talking to goes into Cardiac Arrest.
-It is not okay for a patient to have a heart attack on my couch-especially when there is a perfectly good ER right down the hall.
-It is okay for me to claim foul when a child is hit, even if it is a “cultural norm”
-It is okay for me to have a little freak out after the bad guys have been stopped from coming over the fence by helicopters flying over my hut.
-It is okay for me to just be with patients and staff-nobody talking, just there.
-It is okay to do a doggie death notification when a distraught daddy stateside needs to tell his daughter (who is a 1st time deployer, 4 days in Afghanistan) that he accidently killed her beloved pet.

-It is okay to laugh hysterically with the Rabbi at 2 in the morning over absolutely nothing.

-It is okay to “bag” (perform breathing resuscitation procedures) and pray at the same time

-It is not okay to “lose it” in the middle of a child dying but it is okay to “lose it” a little when you get back to your office and the door is closed.

-It is okay to think “really God-there is a purpose for all of this?” It is not okay for that thought to paralyze me.

-It is okay to pray the same prayer day in and day out-God protect our Soldiers, Airmen, Marines and Sailors and if they come through my Trauma Bay please guide the Doctors, Techs and Nurses hands and hearts.  

-It is okay to know that sometimes it just a different kind of crazy every day

-It is okay to teach 20 Afghan young men the meaning of “Y’all”

-It is okay to be very impressed with President Obama when he tells us he doesn’t know how we do what we do every day.

-It is okay to smile at the end of the day when you know you are a hospital chaplain when you empty your pockets and pull out a pulse O2 meter and 3 Saint Medallions