wonderful Holidays!

I know I have been a lazy turd lately and not updating the way I should.  I have been super busy and there's no excuse except that I have not had much time to actually think.  And when I don;t think, I don;t blog!
I have spent the last 4 days doing nothing but laying around.  We drove down to the parents' house on Friday and then spent Saturday opening gifts and playing with our new toys.  My brother is here as well and we are just enjoying doing absolutely nothing.  Sometimes I feel like I ought to be doing something, but then I remember that I do something all the time.  Well, I am determined to remember how to relax.  It is so wonderful to just hang out, watch movies, talk and be together.  I'll have a few days at home when we get there to do more of the same.  Will have to take down the Christmas decorations and put the house back together, but that will be OK.

We are also enjoying eating all our favorites- toll house cookies, pumpkin pie, mince meat pie, pecan pie, brownies, fudge, ham, sweet potatoes, dressing and all kinds of yummy stuff!!!!   I've also been keeping up with my training so hopefully the pounds will not pack on too badly.  The nutrition portion will have to have to wait until January!

Thanksgiving

Wow!  i can;t believe it's been a month since I posted.  A lot has happened in the last month.  I can't bore you to death with the details of the tour of the correctional facility and the fire department, except that I got to climb the hook and ladder- that was way cool!  The firefighter following me up was huffing and puffing- I thought I might have to catch HIM!  Work has been crazy busy.  I seem to be almost caught up at work- we'll see how much farther I can get this week.
I have my PT test on Tuesday.  My first haircut in 9 months is tomorrow as well.  I got it cut pretty short before I deployed and it has taken this long to get back to a normal length.  Plus, I just haven't had time to get to it!
Thanksgiving was a welcome break from the hecticness of life lately.  On Friday before the holiday, my parents arrived from FL.  We had gotten a futon the was special extra long so normal people can fit on it, but apparently, I didn;t think about the crease in the middle.  If made my dad crazy and he couldn't sleep on it.  So they moved upstairs to the game room on the air mattress.  Saturday I had a jewelry party.  I had gone to a jewelry party a couple of weeks ago and I agreed to do a party so my hostess could get some extra free jewelry and so I could get a lot of free stuff!  I ended up being able to get about $700 worth of free stuff- awesome.  Our school had their state championship game that day and we won, so that was pretty awesome.  Sunday was a day of relaxation.  I had to go to work Monday and Tuesday, but I took the afternoon off on Wednesday.  It felt weird!  Like I was playing hooky!  Even though I put in 7 hours by 1:30! We spent the afternoon cooking in preparation for Thanksgiving.  Jack's family arrived on Tuesday and that was the day my parents went to their hotel.  Jack's dad and his wife stayed at the hotel, as did his sister and her husband.  Their three kids stayed at our house, along with Jack's mom and her husband,  During the day, we all hung at the house, in the evenings the others went to their hotel.  The kids had a great time hanging together.
Thanksgiving was absolutely wonderful.  The cooking was low stress.  The food turned out wonderful!  I made the best mashed potatoes I have ever had in my whole life!!!!  I hope I can recreate them again some day.   We ate at about 230 and then laid around the rest of the day.  Oh yeah!  I had a great bike ride Thanksgiving morning after I got the turkey in the oven.  I was so full after eating our meal mid-afternoon that all I wanted for dinner was pie!  Yum!!!
We got up at 0300 on Black Friday and went to Kohls for shopping bargains.  I've done that once in my life and planned to never do it again.  not sure what got into me, but I did it again and it was great!  It was me, and Heather, and Jordan and Jason (niece and nephew) and I got clothes that fit!  Mostly.  I still have to take several pairs of pants to have the waist taken in and have them hemmed, as usual.  But they mostly fit.
Everyone left on Friday and Saturday.  Saturday night the Mullises got here and we had a great evening with them eating thanksgiving leftovers and had smores for dessert.  Plus wine and cigars.  Got up today (Sunday), went to church, looked at a couple of new cars on the way home (but the dealorships were closed) and then top the commissary to pick up a few things.  Made my salad for the week, chopped some fruit, and then hung up some artwork we bought on the cruise last year.  Lost my energy before I could decorate the tree!
it was great to have several days off and to have the whole family here.  It was great to be home from the desert and it was great to have Theresa home from the desert as well.  there's nothing like being gone for 6 months to make someone appreciate being home with the family.
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays and weeks like this remind me why.  I love my family and I love my life.  

Weekend with Mom!

Had a great weekend with my mom.  As I was laying in bed yesterday morning, I realized that this was the first weekend that I have been home since I got back from the dessert!  The first one was spent on a mini TDY.  The second was on a real TDY to Denver.  Next was the bike ride and then last weekend was the triathlon.  And when I was home during the week on my R&R I let Jack sleep in and got up with the kids.  So yesterday was my first sleep in in 5 weeks!  It was great!
My mom was in Maryland for three weeks helping out her aunt after she got sick.  She stopped in here on her way back to FL.  Yesterday she helped me lay out a couple of flower gardens and look for plants to fill them.  I wrote down tons of ideas and will go buy them next weekend and then plant them.  Today, we spent several hours buying curtains.  It took 3 different stores and there's one I still need to make a decision on and go back and get, but the downstairs is mostly done.  Or it will be after I buy the rods and Jack puts them up and then I actually hang the curtains on them!  Which will not happen until the gardens are done.
Oh well.... work is good for the soul.

Thanks, mom!!!!!!

Century Ride- 100 miles in the saddle!

So as I was writing about the triathlon, I realized I never told you the story of the 100 mile bike ride last week.

I was going to go by myself, but jack decided to come up with me, so we left the kids home under the supervision of our neighbor.  We drove up together and he dropped me off in Salisbury and then he kept going on up to Ed's house where he was going to spend some time while I did my thing.  I had gotten a hotel for 2 nights and was prepared to stay by myself, but I managed to get a friend and her friend to sign up with me.  But at the last minute, the friend cancelled because she could not get back from Hawaii in time and at a reasonable cost.  So it was me and the lady I never met.  Her name is Jamie and she's a Navy nurse and it turns out we got along great!  The longest ride she had ever done as 34 miles and she was planning on doing 100.  On a new bike she had ridden once..  It was a hybrid, not even a road bike built for distance.

We went to the expo Friday night and I bought some bike stuff- some I needed and some I didn't!  Of course.  Jamie did the same thing.

Then the morning of the race came.  We were up bright and early and ate a nice big breakfast.  Then we were off.  We started at a bout 0745.  She is a slower rider and I tried to stay with her, but she told me repeatedly to go on if I needed to.  Well, eventually I needed to because my butt was killing me!  Turns out, that when you ride too slow, the feet don't put enough pressure on the peddles and the butt and arms take all the force.  I had to go and when I did, I felt much better.  There were rest stops about every 20-25 miles and I waited for her at the first one.  She got in about 25 minutes after I did.  After that, we agreed to just ride separate.  Good thing, too! The half way point was Assateague Island and that's where she decided she was done.  It was actually about 66 miles and she took the sag wagon (sometimes known as the loser cruiser!) back to the campus.  Oh yeah- the race started from and was hosted by Salisbury University- my alma mater.  I have not been back since I graduated in 1990- wow, it has changed!  More buildings and dorms.  Amazing. Anyway, she had given me the truck key, assuming I would finish before her, so she had to wait for me to get there.  The good new is that I was way ahead of her and it only took me an hour to get back after she arrived.

The ride was absolutely beautiful- we traveled on these back roads through small towns, woods, and fields.  Just gorgeous scenery.  I started to get a bit tired at about mile 70, but the good news is that I didn't feel any worse at mile 100 than I did at mile 70.  And I wasn't sore at all.  Even the next day!  This was my first century ride and it was great. I'm looking forward to doing another one.  Next year, I want to do the RAGBRAI- it's about 450 miles across Iowa and you do it in one week.  the Air Force has a team every year of over 100 people and I can get permissive TDY to do it (instead of taking leave, they let me go, but on my own dime.) We get an Air Force cycling uniform and it's a recruiting mission-we talk to people and hand out stuff.  That would be a blast!  To ride a bike for a week and talk about the Air Force- who could have a better job?!?!?!?

I met several people on the Salisbury ride.  It was a great atmosphere. We'd ride and talk and whatnot.  At Assateague, we saw some wild ponies- 2 adults and a baby.  I got pics.  We stopped for about 30 minutes there and I walked around in the ocean, sat on the sand, ate some food, and then we took off again.  The next pit stop had pie and ice cream for snacks- yum!  I burned about 5000 calories that day, so I was not concerned with what I ate!

We came home and went out for crabs- YUM!  I ate about 14 or so and drank a few beers, then crashed in bed.  Got up the next day and Jack picked me up and we headed off to Rachel's house.  Stayed with her on Sunday and then headed home Monday morning.  It was a wonderful weekend.

So far since I got back, I have been busy every weekend and all week.  Mom is coming next week and we may go to the fair, but other than that, we are staying home!

triathlon!

Did my first triathlon in about 18 months today.  it was awesome!  I signed up for it months ago while I was still in Afghanistan. Despite the fact that I prefer the longer distances, I prudently signed up for the shorter one since I knew it i'd only be back about 3-4 weeks when I did it.  I wasn't concerned at all about the run or the bike- it the swim I was worried about- they did not have a pool in Afghanistan.  This was my first open water swim in competition.  i only had 2 goals today- do well on the swim and go hard the whole way.  My stretch goal was to place, but I knew that was a long shot.

The triathlon was at Hickory Knob State Park in western SC.  I've never been in this part of the state before- it's pretty hilly- that will be a factor later!  I left after work and drove here by myself .  jack and the kids came later since they went to the football game.  I nearly ran over 2 deer and saw several on the side of the road.  i checked in and got to the room.  Got all my stuff ready and set the alarm for 0630 (for an 0700 packet pick up time).  Miraculously, i was able to fall asleep and did not wake up until 0200 when Jack and the kids arrived.  Heather's boyfriend, Mike, is also staying with us for the weekend.  He gets a mattress on the floor- on James' side of the bed!  We got hem all settled in and then I was out like a light again.  I woke up at 0600 and was all antsy and couldn't get back to sleep.  So I got up and got my stuff together and went and picked up my number and then picked up my timing chip and got my number and age written on my arms and legs.  Then I went to the room and got all my gear and got it set up in the transition area.  You set up the bike and all the bike and run gear.  I then went to breakfast and ate a big one!  Finished about an hour before the race was due to start.  I saw a guy sitting by himself and asked if I could sit with him.  Glad i did because we hada great conversation for about an hour.  Then I went to get my wetsuit on.

We made our way down to the lake.  First, the International distance took off- that one was twice as long as mine.  Next, the Sprint folks made our way down and jumped in.  The water was about 76 degrees- not nearly as cold as I thought it would feel.  I waited my turn and then off we went!  The swim was only 500 yards, but it felt a lot further.  I ended up in the back of the swim back, as usual, but by the end, I think I was about 3/4 back- not bad for only swimming the last 3 weeks!  If you have never swum with 50 people all vying to be in the front, you cannot imagine what it is like.  I have heard of people freaking out and hyperventilating and my goal was to stay calm and swim smooth.  Arms are flying, feet are kicking.  I got kicked in the head a few times, but no big deal.  I didn't like it went a couple of women wrapped their arm around my neck and didn't seem to get it off fast enough, but I later did the same thing to someone else.  The other difficult thing is staying straight.  I swim pretty straight, but I'd lift my head every 5-7th left sided stroke and take a quick check of the marker to make sure I was still headed towards it.  by the time I got there, I was starting to pass some people.  I passed more and more by the time I got to the end and then got heaved out of the water.  I had to go up a huge steep hill to get to the transition area- I speed walked it.  There was to be no running up that hill for me!  The swim was 500 yards and I think it might have taken me about 20 minutes.

Once I got to the transition area, I stripped off my wetsuit and dried off a bit, threw on my bike shoes and socks, helmet, gloves, and jersey and took off!  i could hardly breathe, but I settled into a nice rhythm.  I got passed by a few women on the uphills, but no one, not even the men, passed me on the downhills!  I got up to 33mph at one point.  I noticed that a lot of people would coast down the hills, but not me!  I down shift and lay on the peddles and go down as fast as possible.  the only good thing about uphills is the down on the other side.  There was one really bad one where some people were getting off and walking- there was no way I was walking.  I ended up in one of my easiest gears doing about 5mph, but I never stopped!  I was hoping to maintain 20 mph, but with the hills, it ended up being 15mph over the 10 mile bike course.  I can live with that!

After the bike, you jump off BEFORE the line (you get disqualified if you go just one inch past the line while still on it), then ran the bike up the hill back to my spot in the transition area and stripped off my bike shoes and helmet and gloves and jersey, threw on my running cap and shoes and took off!  I ran in my bike shorts and sports bra.  My first mile was amazing! I felt great!  I think the way to do well on my PT test will be to ride 10 miles and then jump off and run!  My goal was 10 min miles over the 3.2 mile course, and I averaged just under that.  I was so excited!  Especially given the horrible hills.  I about fell over at the end, but it was great.

The family was actually at the end of the bike and the run to see me.  It's the first time they have ever seen me race.  My finish time was 1:31.47- about 10 min slower than I was hoping for, but that is accounted for by the hills on the bike.  It was so much fun racing again and talking to people and just the whole festive atmosphere.  they pulled pork bbq sandwiches, baked beans and brownies after the event- yum.  I only ate a little and was full, but after my shower, I was hungry again, so I ate some more.

All in all, it was a great day!  So happy I did it!

Oh and break though on my compulsiveness- publishing this without proofreading!  Hope it's OK!!!!!!!

Seagull Century This Weekend!

So this weekend is my first 100 mile bike ride.  Jack and I are leaving tomorrow and driving up to MD.  He will drop me off in Salisbury and then I will stay with some friends from Friday until Sunday.  After that, checking out to go to my Rachel's house.  Heading back home on Monday.  I hope I can still walk Saturday night!

I have been looking forward to doing a ride this long for quite awhile.  Jack sees no point in it.  But I do!  What a challenge!  Driving 100 miles is boring as heck, but I'm hoping that riding will be fun.  The furthest I have ridden in the past is 54 miles, so I hope this goes well!

Bagram Fat Camp

OK- before I came home, I had not told anyone at home that I have been dieting.  Over the last 5 months, I have lost about 18 pounds.  It has been incredibly difficult.  I have eaten less and exercised more than I ever thought I could.  For years, I had thought I “couldn’t “ lose weight.  Because I had tried- believe me- I had tried!   But I didn’t try as hard as I had while deployed.  And I’m not sure I could have done it at home because I could not have exercised as much as I did while deployed.

It all started in May when I went to the dietician and asked for help.  She had worked one on one with some other folks and they had done really well.  I had already been used to logging my calories and exercise for years- sometimes seriously and sometimes off and on.  Mostly reactively- I’d log calories and then reflect that I had gone over my goal and move on.  Not really planning my day.  So I met with her and she came up with guidelines- this many starches, this much protein, etc.  I took that and came up with rules- 2 cups of veggies and 3-4 oz of lean protein for lunch, for example.  Using those guidelines, I could go to the dining hall and choose what I was in the mood for. 

The other thing she did was make me put my scale away.  I am used to weighing in at least once a day.  My morning weight doesn’t determine my mood for the day, but I want to know what it is.  I’ll often weigh in after a workout to see how much I sweated.  Then weigh in before bed to see how much I gained during the day.  When we talked about putting the scale away, it was really scary to me!  I cried.  I would not have predicted that I would react that way, but I did.  I was all stressed out at the thought that a whole week could go by and I would not know how I was doing.  I was worried that my weight could get away from me in just a week of not monitoring it.  That was terrifying.  I think I realized at that point that I had a problem.

The next thing I learned was how I think about food.  I think about food all day long.  From the time I wake up, I am thinking about what I will eat for breakfast.  Then I am planning my lunch and dinner throughout the day.  I was taught to not throw food away, so it was a new concept for me to go through the chow hall line and say I only wanted a small amount, they give me whatever I want and then I have to throw some out because they gave me way too much.  Just knowing they gave me too much and not wanting to waste it was stressful.  But I eventually learned to just eat the parts that were really good and stop when I was full.  And don't think about all those starving Afghans or the cost of wasted food when I throw the extra away.

My other big weakness is sweet snacks.  I love chocolate and all kinds of candy!  And I like it every day.  I can’t imagine how people say they never eat sweets.  Or they are giving up sweets.  I think I’m addicted.  And I don't say that lightly.  I think about it all the time.  I think of ways to get it.  I get stressed if I can’t have it.  If I don't get it when I want it, I keep thinking about it.  If they found out that chocolate causes cancer, I’d be in huge trouble!    So I had to learn how to cut back on those, just eat smaller amounts, eat them slowly, and love every bite.  I had done that in the past, so I knew it was doable.

Exercise- wow!  I exercised at least 90 minutes per day.  When logged my calories, turns out I averaged 1150 calories per workout.  That’s a lot!!  I did 6 workouts per week.  I did take one day off!  And when I start something and get serious about it, I get a bit obsessive.  I logged every calorie I took in and every one I burned off.  At the end of the week, I printed out my log and analyzed where I could have done better and tried to do better the next week.  I learned what to avoid, what things I can’t have or have to instantly get rid of half of it when they put it on my plate, and what I can have tons of.  What satisfies and what doesn’t.  And what size meals work for me.  I have discovered that a huge breakfast of 600 calories or so holds me well until lunch.

This journey has not been easy.  I have hit plateaus that stress me out.  I think there are days when I have over exercised.  I know that I cannot exercise this much when now that I am home.  I think I can maintain the lower calories for a couple of more weeks until I get to my ultimate goal (after a couple of weeks of enjoying American food again, of course!).  I’m looking forward to getting back to maintenance calories.

Anyway- that’s been my journey and project over the last 3-4 months.  I was surprised at what an emotional issue this was for me.  I didn’t post this until I got home and talked to Jack about it.  I can't wait to go clothes shopping!

Coming Home! Written 12 Sept

Oh my goodness.  What a journey this has been so far.  I hate traveling with the military cattle call!  I had a report time on 11 Sept of 1500.  I had no idea what time that meant we would really be leaving.  I started my day with a 9.11K Patriot’s Run.  Turns out he 9.11K was just symbolic because the run was actually 6.4 miles, which is a bit over 10K!  I did not budget my energy for that far, but it turned out OK.  My pace was 10:22 per minute, which is slower than my 10K pace of 10:00 2 yrs ago, but faster than I was 2 months ago.  But I was hurting at the end.  I was still a bit sore from the dog wrestling, too.  After my race, I laid down for about an hour, but was unable to sleep, although I was exhausted.  Two nights before I had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep.  Not sure why I woke at 0230, but once I got a knock at the door at 0300 to sign some emergency leave papers, I was definitely not able to go back to sleep and I ended up getting up at 0330 and doing laundry.  I got started on a bunch of other stuff I had to do and was able to get all my stuff done that day.  I lay down at 8:45 PM to sleep and was just going into a deep sleep when the air raid sirens went off.  It was a rocket attack.  I finally went to bed at 11:30 PM form that and then was in a nice deep sleep at 0330 when we got another attack. The enemy was celebrating the end of Ramadan and Sept 11^th in style!  So I was up permanently from that- it was time to go to the race by  the time they called all clear.  So I ran 6.4 miles tired and sore.  Came back, laid down for an hour, got up and cleaned my room and finished packing and showered.  About when I was getting ready to go in to work and finish a few last things, the air raid siren went off again!  We had not had a daylight attack in the 6 months I was there- not even in March and April when they were attacking every week.  So I hunkered down waited a while and then went in to work.  I had lunch with a few friends and then went around and said my good byes. I packed up the truck and a friend drove me to the terminal at 1500 (3pm).

Once I got there, the fun started.  I was actually concerned that my flight would not get out at all.  Between mechanical problems and rocket fire, I was thinking it may not happen. I arrived at the appointed time of 1500 and then had an hour wait after check in and before we could go through customs.  Then was the hour wait out in the customs yard while they finished about 150 Army personnel before they started the Air Force.  Customs is an interesting affair.  First you load all your junk on a table.  Then you empty your pockets into your hat and get a body scan in those scanners that show everything.  But the females did not have to get that since it was males doing the looking.  I just got wanded.  I happened to make a comment about when was the body cavity search and instantly about 3 guys volunteered to do mine…yikes!  After the scan, you go to a table where you have to empty all of your bags onto a table and a customs agent (some poor Air Force sap who thought they were going to a good job but got stuck with customs instead) goes through all your stuff.  Everything!  Only my guy was not very thorough.  He didn’t even want to see my authorization letter for my switchblade.  He didn’t open any containers or anything.  I watched a few others later and they were opening everything and patting down clothing.  I got off easy!  After the customs search,  they put us in lock down – the plan was it would be about 7 hours, but military flights aren’t like civilian flights.  In the Air Force world, the flight time is a guestimate.  They make you show up way early and then they just get things moving as the manning and air traffic permit.  We were supposed to take off at 1130pm.  I lay down for about 90 minutes and tried to nap, but that didn’t really work very well.  Once they lock you down, you cannot leave.  Dinner was a cup of Total Raisin Bran with some cranberry applesauce I pilfered out of an MRE.  Later I had an MRE cracker with MRE peanut butter.  After resting, I got up and walked around outside a bit.  After that got boring, I came in and watched the customs stuff going on from above on the steps that go to the second floor.  I could also see the baggage scanner and talk to the guy who was running it- that was pretty neat.  Next thing, I know, they are calling us to go load up the plane!  It was about 2 hrs early- wooohooo!    

So we grab out stuff and head to the plane.  I came in on a C-130 cargo plane, which is loud and a rough ride.  The only seating is the web seating along the walls.  The toilet was a pull down affair with a curtain that went partly around it, but I had to go, so I used it.  I did not care!  The flight home was on a C-17- this is a huge cargo plane that has over 100 seats.  I was one of the last to get on, but it turned out fine.  I got an aisle seat.  I remembered from getting here that the ride was short before because I was watching a movie on my iPod and did not get all the way through it.  Some guy was trying to tell me it was a 4 hour flight.  I was hoping he was wrong.  We got on the plane and sat for about an hour while they loaded the cargo on the pallets behind us.  Then they closed up the back and we sat for another 30 minutes or so.  Once they said we were taking off, I mentioned to the guy next to me that I we had passed the first hurdle- breaking down- and now all we had to do was get airborne without getting shot down.  He is Army and it’s apparent that he had not really thought about that possibility!  We took off uneventfully for what turned out to be a 2 hour flight.  Let me describe the seating.  If all there was was me and my airline pillow- no problem.  But there is me…with my giant flak vest on…with my helmet strapped to the front.  With my carry on (a soft briefcase with a strap) slung across my chest.  With my gigantic military backpack with a pillow strapped to one side and a blanket to the other side.  Picture ALL THAT crammed into an airline seat!  I actually was able to put the backpack in the seat next to me, but the flack vest, helmet, and briefcase are all on me.  I could barely move a muscle or adjust my posture for 3 hours on that plane.  Closer to 4 by the time we landed, taxied, waited for cargo to be unloaded and then we able to get up.  My butt was killing me.  That was the easy part.

Next, we file onto busses. This is 0130 by now and I have had about 8 hours sleep in the last 70 hours.  From the busses, we go into a building where they collect out IDs.  We have a seat and bored briefers fly through welcoming and information slides.  Then they tell us about 4 different times and locations and processes we have to be at, but nothing is written down and sometimes they don’t give the whole story.  Then the Army leaves and the AF has to stay for another briefing.  Finally, we get out at about 0230.  I am told I had to go find my checked bags, put my personal bag on a shelf, but make sure everything I needed for the next 72 hours was out of it because I would not be able to get back into it until it was time to leave.  Well, as sleep deprived as I was, I remembered to get the DVD player and some movies out, but I forgot my sweatshirt.  Plus, I was sweating from lugging my crap all over the place and did not realize it was cold here in Kyrgyzstan.  Then I had to drop my chem bag in some wet box and was told I’d see it again later to turn it in.  I had to check into lodging and get my room, then get linens, then get my ID back at 0400, then go check my outbound flight starting at 0800, then at 0900 go turn in my vest and helmet and chem gear.   Turns out the ID cards were ready early, so I picked that up at about 0330.   I went to lodging and got my room without problem.  Then went to get linens.  They gave me an Army blanket and a plastic pillow.  Apparently, they were out of everything else.  I asked for an extra blanket and the lady objected, but after I said fine, I brought my own, she gave me another one.  So picture this- I have a flak vest on, helmet strapped to chest- that’s 40 pounds right there.  My briefcase is probably 8 or 10 pounds slung across my chest.  My packpack is at least 20 pounds and is on my back.  I am carrying an armload of blankets and a pillow and looking for my dorm in the dark at 0400 looking for my dorm.  The buildings were not labeled consistently and building 470 was nowhere near 465.  But after about 20 minutes of lugging 70 pounds of crap and linens all over the place in a drizzling rain, I found my dorm, made it to my room, made my bed,  put my stuff down.  I then made my way to the dining for an actual meal because I was starving.  After breakfast, I got back to my room at about 0500, took my pants and boots off and laid down for what I expected to be about 3 hours of sleep.  At about 0530, the door opens and someone flips on the light!  It was my new roommate, who, when I asked her to turn off the light, didn’t.  She rooted around for about 10 minutes and then managed to find her flashlight and turned off the overhead light.  She is a Marine.  Most AF personnel keep a small flashlight attached to our uniform collar for occasions such as this.  She didn’t even apologize.  She then proceeded to go in and out for the next hour or so, waking me up each time. 

I had decided that there was no need to check my flight right at 0800, so my next appt would be at 0900 to turn in my vest.  I set my watch alarm to 0830, not really sure that I would hear it, but hoping I would.  I did not remember where I had put my alarm clock.  I found it later in my backpack.  Next thing I know, after a few hours of waking up frequently, my roommate entered the room again.  I looked at my watch and it was 0900!  YIKES!  I leaped up, threw on my uniform, put in my contacts because I couldn’t find my glasses quickly, and rushed off to find the place to turn in chem gear.  Turning in the gear was an easy process.  After that, I headed to breakfast, bought a long sleeve PT shirt at the BX because it’s pretty chilly here and my sweatshirt is in my luggage, then scheduled a massage tomorrow because I am still sore, went to the coffee shop and had a café mocha with way too much mocha (believe it or not!!) and read the Stars and Stripes, and now I am sitting here on my bed telling you about my day. 

I think I will read for a bit and then take a nap.  If all goes according to plan, I’ll be at BWI the evening of the 14^th- then crabs and beer with Kristin- yippppeeee!  

Dog Attacks! What fun!

There is a team of dog handlers here whose dogs are called in when they have to go get bad guys.  One of the handlers is an Air Force female, one is Army and there were two Navy guys when I met them tonight.  There was also a Marine who was just passing through.  The dogs need to be trained to take down people and to obey their handler’s every command and that takes a lot of practice.  And it’s not as much fun or valuable training for the dog to practice on the same people over and over again.  So that’s where we come in.  they let perfectly gullible strangers come in and get chased down by their dogs.  I had a contact who set it up for me and we went tonight (9-8) so I could be an adjunct dog trainer (my terminology!).  Or maybe it’s just dog meat…

There were three dogs there- Rocky belonged to my Navy handler, Don was with the Army handler, and there was a pretty female dog who was with the Air Force female handler.  Then there was another one that was crazy.  His handler was Army, and left from another base for R&R last week.  He was in such a hurry that he told the guys there that the dog was “fine” and left.  Well, that dog is not fine.  It’s job is to track and chase bad guys, on his own, and then corner them and wait for the handler to arrive.  Apparently, he is mean and he bites.  The Air Force female (they guys call her Female Jones- not sure if there was a Male Jones or not!) went into the kennel a few days ago to change its water and it lunged at her and got a hold of her arm.  She was able to get it off her with her other hand and then it got her other hand.  She had to go to the hospital.  That dog was massive.  It’s really kind of sad because the Navy guy said that they will send it away and try to rehabilitate it, but if they can’t, it will have to be put down.  There’s no way a dog trained like that could go to a home.  I told him they should contact Cesar Milan and tell the story.  It would be great for him to save an Army dog and it would be great for the Army because they could look good for not killing this dog who is a hero in Afghanistan for catching a gajillion bad guys.

The nurse who took me over there has a German Sheppard at home, but she was afraid of the dogs hurting her, so she just wanted to watch and photograph.  Another nurse wanted to come watch.  Another Army guy decided to come and watch as well, thinking maybe he would do it the next day.  But I talked him into doing it tonight.  More on that later. 

First, I had to take everything out of my pockets that might stab me or get ruined if it got bitten.  Then I put on this giant suit- bottoms and top. It probably weighed 80 pounds and I could hardly move.  The handler carefully explained the procedure.  I asked him if the dog would bite my face….his response?  “Only as a last resort.”  WELL WHAT THE HECK ARE THE FIRST RESORTS?!?!?!?!?!?!  He said the first resorts are the arms, then the back, then the legs.  Oh…OK.

My dog’s name was Rocky.  He is a beautiful German Sheppard who looked so happy to see me.  Really!  He was jumping around and smiling and wagging his tail.  His ears were all perked up and you could tell he loved his handler.  The handler told me to move when he said move and when I was not supposed to run, to be absolutely still.  OK- I can do that!  The first exercise was for me to hold my arm next to my body with the elbow bent at a 90 degree angle.  The dog was released from about 15 feet away and came flying at me at full speed and leaped up and clamped down on my arm.  I gave him some good shakes and after a bit, the handler said to stop moving.  Moving stopped!  Then he yelled “OUT!” and the dog stopped and he told him to heel and the dog went tearing back to the handler’s side, then he was told to lie down and stay and he did.  Next was the running portion.  Lumbering is more like it, but I did as I was told.  I ran as fast as I could and then remembered to look over my shoulder as instructed and here comes that dog as fast as lightening and he leaped up and grabbed my arm.  Eventually he was able to pull me down.  I kept my face turned away so he wouldn’t think it would be great fun to eat it as a last resort. The handler called him off and then he asked me if I wanted to do it again- heck yeah!!!!!  So I did it again, but somehow I tripped and went down and just waited for him to pounce on me.  He sure did!  He grabbed my back first, then my right arm and he got some of my tricep in his mouth.  He tried to get a better grip and moved down a bit.  He let go as soon as the handler called him off.  The last exercise was where I was supposed to give up.  My job was to run and then stand there facing the dog like I wanted to give up and at some point the dog would decide to run past me.  I couldn’t wait to see if this would work!!  I ran and then stood there and the dog was running at me as fast as he could go and at the last second the handler yelled something I can’t remember and Rocky pulled to the side at the last second and then kept going, then the handler called him to heel.  He was just amazing.

After my turn was over, “John” decided to go.  Remember how he didn’t really want to do it tonight?  Keep that in mind.  He gets all suited up for Don to chase him.  Don is some other kind of dog that looks like a German Sheppard, but isn’t.  I can’t remember what.  Anyway, Don looked even happier than Rocky was to be getting himself some flesh!  So John runs out and is actually able to stand up as Don chased him down and then leaps up and grabs a hold of John's arm.  John did not go down as the 80 pound dog is hanging on.  Around and around they go until Don is called off- grinning from ear to ear.  The dog, not John.  Then they do it again and this time John goes down.  And then there is one last time.  John is running for all he’s worth, the dog leaps up and grabs his left arm again and John goes face down.  And he’s not moving much as the dog is pulling on him.  Next thing I hear is Doc! Doc!  I leap up and run full speed down the course about 50 yards and John is laying on his face, his forehead is bleeding and he is not moving.  Holy crap!   He head was bleeding A LOT and I couldn’t find a bandage or anything to stop it.  I almost ripped my shirt off and then remembered I had a soft reflector belt in my pocket.  So I fished that out and put it on his cut.  He was out cold for about 30 seconds. Then he started thrashing a lot and hyperventilating, completely unresponsive to any communication.  We held him down because his neck might have been injured and he slowly came around.  The handlers called 911 and brought a medical bag.  We washed and dressed his cut, which had stopped bleeding and then the firefighters and the ambulance arrived and we rode back with him.  Poor guy.  I felt sort of responsible for talking him into it.  He’ll be fine, but I hope he doesn’t end up with PTSD and a fear of dogs. 

.....Addendum 2 days later- John is still nauseated and dizzy, but we are hoping he'll be fine.  Also hoping they don;t put that activity off limits to us because of his accident.  You can't squelch all the fun! I am a bit sore from using muscles I don't normally use. But I still have my part of it as a great memory. 

Leg vs. Concertina Wire

Today I had an unfortunate episode of leg vs. concertina wire.  Everyone knows I’m pretty accident prone.  I crash into things, trip, fall down, and get bruises that I have no idea where they came from.  When I was pregnant, I would forget I had a belly and crash it into door jams as I turned to walk out.  My kids might be a little messed up because of that, I think.  If it is possible to get hurt doing something, I’ll figure out a way.  But usually nothing serious- just cuts and bruises.  I get it from my dad.  He's always been the same way, only worse, my whole life.  He could not make it through a home improvement project without drawing blood.  Pretty sure that’s still the case.  But I did get half of my genes from my mom, so when I concentrate, I can be OK.  I just forget to be careful a lot.

 I cut myself with a knife early on in this deployment- it was clipped to my pocket and popped open (it’s a switch blade) without me knowing.  I reached down and bam!  It bit me.  A couple of weeks ago, I cut myself with a serrated bread knife while opening a bag of bread mix.  As I was cutting I was thinking I was not using the best technique (as in I was holding the bag with my left hand and cutting towards my palm with the giant knife in my right hand) and there might be a bit of risk and then mid-thought- bam!  I got cut again.  The serration marks were actually pretty cool.   The scab just fell off a few days ago.

Then this morning, I was riding my bike for the last time on this deployment and I saw an old beat up airplane that looked like it had crashed and I wanted a picture of it.  So, on my next loop around, I stopped and got my camera.  As I neared the place I thought the plane would be, I was looking left and BAM!  I felt something sharp hit my leg on the front just above the ankle.  I knew instantaneously what it was because the concertina wire is all over the place next to the road and I had ridden next to it countless times.  Then I saw the plane and pulled over.  As I was laughing at my stupidity and wondering how bad it was and looking down to check out the damage, it was actually sort of bad- about an inch long, quarter of an inch deep and about half an inch wide.  By now it was hurting and as I was laughing I was also saying some cuss words my kids probably think I don’t know and it looked big, but wasn’t bleeding. So I took my pictures and rode on.  I took a few more pictures as it started to bleed some.  Then I went back on the next circle around and got a picture of the wire that got me.  I tried to find some flesh on it, because that would be the best, but there wasn’t any.  Then I turned around and went back. I was going to do another loop, but I had a meeting at 0930 and this was 0800 and I figured it would take an hour in the ER for stitches.  it did, but I was able to get a quick shower (with my leg propped up on the wall to keep my new stitches dry!) and make it to the 2 1/2 hour meeting on time.

I got to the ER, took a good picture of my wound, and then let the tech numb me up and wash it out.  Then the doc put a couple of deep sutures in and the tech put the superficial ones in.  He wasn’t as good at it as I would expect him to be if the doc left him alone with me.   With his permission, I gave him a lot of pointers (as well as the other 2 techs who were watching him), then we practiced some more after he was finished my leg.  He learned pretty quickly and he’ll do a lot better next time.

All in all, it’s a good story and hopefully the scar won’t be too bad.  But it hurts a lot right now.  The whole front of my leg down to my ankle is killing me.  But even so….I still went and chased by the dogs…more on that in the next story!

Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning?

Sitting here listening to the Alan Jackson song "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)"    .  It's making me cry.  If that had not happened, we would not be here right now.  Thousands of American men and women and even more Afghans would not be dead and injured.  We have 6 children on their way in right now who got hit by a mortar.  We have a young man right now who is fighting for his life after being shot through the forehead.  His wife doesn't even know yet.  They are still putting a team together to notify her.  Heart breaking.  


Where was I when the world stopped turning?  I was in London with my family and parents.  We heard the news from a scraggly looking guy in the subway and we thought he was messing with us.  The headline on the newspaper said "America Going to War!"  Bush had not even spoken yet, but the world knew that we would not stand for an attack on our homeland.  I went into a bathroom stall and cried quietly.  I knew we were going to war and I knew it would be quick.  I just assumed I was going (and I did 9 months later).  But that's not why I cried. It was because of the senselessness and the magnitude of the loss.  I instantly knew that this was my generation's Pearl Harbor.  When we invaded and people were saying how quickly it would be over, I was saying we would be here at least 5 years.  Little did I know it would be no less than 8.  I have no idea when this will end and how we will know that we have "won" or that we are finished.  This country is not Japan or Germany.  These people have been fighting for a thousand years and are insanely patient. They are loyal to no one who is not family.  They will do whatever it takes to protect their family and if that means letting the Taliban protect them and set up courts because the central government can't or won't, that is what they will do.  The enemy will wait us out for as long as it takes.


I am glad to have come, but I'll be glad to be going home.  I can see there are areas and ways we have made a difference, but I don't think it will matter in the long run.  When we pull out, the enemy will say they drove us out.  If we stay, they will say we are an occupying force...history has shown that when there is an occupying force in Afghanistan, the factions band together to get them out.  That's what we are starting to see here- some cooperation between some of the bad guys (there are at least 3 groups).  They will do whatever it takes to get us out.


So that's where I was when the world stopped turning.  And this is where I am now.  I hope I am where I think I will be next week.

Random Thoughts

I'm always thinking up these great ideas for blog entries when I have no way to write them down.  then I forget them and you don't get to hear my awesome thoughts!  Bummer.  I had one while I was running this AM and now I have no idea what it was.....maybe I should take a marker with me everywhere and then I could write it somewhere on myself even if I don;t have a piece of paper.


I had a facial today and got my lip waxed for the first time ever. I'm sure you needed to know that.  My son teases me about my mustache sometimes, so maybe he'll be happy now.  The facial was about 20 minutes long- supposed to be 30.  And there was a bout a 10 minute break in the middle while my mask set.  I fell asleep during that!  It was kind of great.  But the whole entire session cost $9.  That was worth it.  i have my lat massage at Bagram scheduled for next Sunday.  After my facial, I cleaned my room and then went to see a movie- Sex and the City.  It was pretty good.  Saw Robin Hood a few days ago- loved it!  And skipped out of work to see Karate Kid yesterday- loved it!  It was the same story as the first time around, but updated for modern audiences.  Enough similarities to make it similar, enough differences to keep it interesting.  And Jaden  Smith is so cute!  Plus, I like Jackie Chan.


I've been slowly packing my junk and mailing it home.  Finishing up some things at work.  But all in all, I am very low stress right now.  Which is very good!  I've been getting to bed mostly on time.  I exercise 6 days a week.  I've been eating healthy.  I feel great.  Wish life could stay like this once I get home!

  

Coming Home Soon

If all goes according to plan, two weeks from today I leave for home.  (Don't tell the kids!  We'll let them know when it's solid).  You would think that I would be ecstatic about this, but I will confess that there are mixed feelings.  Everyone has them, but most people don’t talk about them.  Going home is wonderful and hard at the same time.  I’ve done this a few times now- once after 3 months and once after 1 month- but never after this long.  Jack has been at home with the kids and they have been living their separate lives.  They eat what they want (I can only imagine!!), go to bed when they want, do whatever.  I have no control over that stuff from here.  Jack is a wonderful dad and I rarely worry about the kids when they are in his care, but he is a different parent than me and it has been all him for 6 months.  He watches what he wants on tv, goes out when he wants, comes in when he wants and never has to check in with me.  Then there’s me and what I have been doing for 6 months.  I get up when I want, go to the gym, basically come and go as I  please and rarely check in with anyone.  I take off during the day if I feel like it.  My stress levels are low.  The work is manageable.  And fun. 


When I get home, it all changes. I can’t wait to see my family again.  I miss my kids and I miss my husband.  I am looking forward to so many things, like wearing a dress, wearing my hair down, cooking, walking barefoot in the grass, shopping, hanging with friends, drinking wine, going out to restaurants, going to my kids sporting events, and a million other things.  But life is so simple here!  I work out, work, eat, read and sleep. 

Another side of having been here is I have learned that I love the low stress life.  Makes me re-evaluate what I want out of life.  I miss clinical medicine.  I have leadership aspirations in the Air Force, but there is a lot of stuff I just don't like.  A lot of the minutia is a pain in the butt and I just don’t care.  I’d like to see how far I can go up the food chain, but I’m starting to think that’s just not much fun.  I loved my teaching job and I love seeing patients.  But then I think- I can do that when I retire.  Which I can do in just 4-5 years- wow!!!  I have a business plan in mind and have even started to think of names for my practice.  By then, I want to work for fun.


 I can't wait to get home, but I know from experience that transitions are hard.  Expectations are high.  For some families, it doesn’t go well.  I hope it goes well for us.

Adventurous Afghan Food

So we went back to the UAE dining hall for dinner tonight.  They had some stuff I had never seen before.  When I started looking closely at the fish I had gotten, there was an eyeball in it!  I did not eat that.  then i was poking through some other unrecognizable stuff that actually looked pretty good.  This one bit looked like a stem of cauliflower, but not quite.  When I looked closer it on cross section, it was shaped like a butterfly. Then it hit me what it was!!!  Any guesses?  Doctors?  I showed it to the neurosurgeon sitting across from me and told her she would know- took her a couple of seconds to blurt out- Spinal Cord!  yup.....  I tried to cut a little piece off as i was weighing the adventure of trying spinal cord vs the possibility of get CJD (spongy brain disease) when my plastic knife broke.  So I bit off a little piece.  It was OK.  Hopefully I won;t regret that in 20-30 years.
They also had these little donut hole things that were quite good.


They had a lot of different foods and I'm not sure if it's because of Ramadan or some other reason.  Here's a primer on Ramadan so you can be in the know.

Ramadan, the Month of Fasting

·  The Meaning of Ramadan

Ramadan is a special month of the year for over one billion Muslims throughout the world. It is a time for inner reflection, devotion to God, and self-control. Muslims think of it as a kind of tune-up for their spiritual lives. There are as many meanings of Ramadan as there are Muslims.

The third "pillar" or religious obligation of Islam, fasting has many special benefits. Among these, the most important is that it is a means of learning self-control. Due to the lack of preoccupation with the satisfaction of bodily appetites during the daylight hours of fasting, a measure of ascendancy is given to one's spiritual nature, which becomes a means of coming closer to God. Ramadan is also a time of intensive worship, reading of the Qur'an, giving charity, purifying one's behavior, and doing good deeds.

As a secondary goal, fasting is a way of experiencing hunger and developing sympathy for the less fortunate, and learning to thankfulness and appreciation for all of God's bounties. Fasting is also beneficial to the health and provides a break in the cycle of rigid habits or overindulgence.

·  Who Fasts in Ramadan?

While voluntary fasting is recommended for Muslims, during Ramadan fasting becomes obligatory. Sick people, travelers, and women in certain conditions are exempted from the fast but must make it up as they are able. Perhaps fasting in Ramadan is the most widely practiced of all the Muslim forms of worship.

·  The Sighting of the Moon

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. The much-anticipated start of the month is based on a combination of physical sightings of the moon and astronomical calculations. The practice varies from place to place, some places relying heavily on sighting reports and others totally on calculations. In the United States, most communities follow the decision of the Islamic Society of North America, which accepts bonafide sightings of the new moon anywhere in the United States as the start of the new month. The end of the month, marked by the celebration of 'Eid-ul-Fitr, is similarly determined.

·  From Dawn to Sunset

The daily period of fasting starts at the breaking of dawn and ends at the setting of the sun. In between -- that is, during the daylight hours -- Muslims totally abstain from food, drink, smoking, and marital sex. The usual practice is to have a pre-fast meal (suhoor) before dawn and a post-fast meal (iftar) after sunset.

The Islamic lunar calendar, being 11 to 12 days shorter than the Gregorian calendar, migrates throughout the seasons. Thus, since Ramadan begins on January 20 or 21 this year, next year it will begin on January 9 or 10. The entire cycle takes around 35 years. In this way, the length of the day, and thus the fasting period, varies in length from place to place over the years. Every Muslim, no matter where he or she lives, will see an average Ramadan day of the approximately 13.5 hours.

·  Devotion to God

The last ten days of Ramadan are a time of special spiritual power as everyone tries to come closer to God through devotions and good deeds. The night on which the first verses of the Qur'an were revealed to the Prophet, known as the Night of Power (Lailat ul-Qadr), is generally taken to be the 27th night of the month. The Qur'an states that this night is better than a thousand months. Therefore many Muslims spend the entire night in prayer.

During the month, Muslims try to read as much of the Qur'an as they can. Most try to read the whole book at least once. Some spend part of their day listening to the recitation of the Qur'an in a mosque.

·  Food in Ramadan

Since Ramadan is a special time, Muslims in many parts of the world prepare certain favorite foods during this month.

It is a common practice for Muslims to break their fast at sunset with dates (iftar), following the custom of Prophet Muhammad. This is followed by the sunset prayer, which is followed by dinner. Since Ramadan emphasizes community aspects and since everyone eats dinner at the same time, Muslims often invite one another to share in the Ramadan evening meal.

Some Muslims find that they eat less for dinner during Ramadan than at other times due to stomach contraction. However, as a rule, most Muslims experience little fatigue during the day since the body becomes used to the altered routine during the first week of Ramadan.

·  The Spirit of Ramadan

Muslims use many phrases in various languages to congratulate one another for the completion of the obligation of fasting and the 'Eid-ul-Fitr festival. Here is a sampling of them:

"Kullu am wa antum bi-khair" (May you be well throughout the year) - Arabic

"Atyab at-tihani bi-munasabat hulul shahru Ramadan al-Mubarak" (The most precious congratulations on the occasion of the coming of Ramadan) - Arabic

"Elveda, ey Ramazan" (Farewell, O Ramadan) - Turkish

"Kullu am wa antum bi-khair" (May you be well throughout the year) - Arabic

"'Eid mubarak (A Blessed 'Eid)" - universal 

Tears

So there I was.  Sitting in the smoke shack, reading Bill O'Reilly and smoking a cigar.  A couple of F-15s took off and I got a chill.  Then for some reason I started to cry.  Not sure why.  But it made me sad.  Whenever they take off, I'm not sure if it's just a routine mission where they are providing support, or if they have been called out on a specific support mission to get some guys out of trouble.  Many of the Army units have an Air Force JTAC (Joint Tactical Air Controller) with them who communicate with the Air Force and give the planes the coordinates to shoot or drop a bomb or something.  If they are calling in a jet to bomb so close to their own unit, things are going very badly.  Anyway, every time I see a jet take off I wonder it it's routine or they are going to save our guys.  


In morning I see the MRAPs heading out on patrol and I say a prayer that they will come home safely.   Many evenings I see them come back and I say another prayer thanking God that they came home.  Last night we got 3 traumas from one of the Forward Operating Bases.  They were the guys that headed out in the morning not knowing what they would run into.  One guy had his jaw broken, another had his arm filleted open to relieve the pressure of the swollen muscles, and another had his leg amputated above the knee.  I watched our amazing ER crew take care of them.....the Soldier with the amputation needed blood and it was being hung by the nurse 1 minute and 45 seconds after the doctor ordered it.  Incredible!  I stayed late and watched each of their surgeries.  They had their wounds explored, cleaned and dressed.  The Soldier with the broken jaw had his jaw wired.  They will all go to Germany in the next 48 hours or so for further care.  After staying there for as long as it takes to get them well stabilized (maybe a few days to a week), they will fly to Walter Reed, where their families can meet them.


I read the Air Force times every week and in each issue I read the names of all the personnel who have been killed.  There used to be a few every week.  Now, the entire page is filled with names.  I read each name and how he or she died.  I figure it's the least I can do to honor their memory.

War Wounded Story on CNN

Barbara Starr from CNN was here last month.  She followed some wounded Soldiers from the level 1 medical care facility, here to Bagram, and then to Lanstuhl Army Medical Center.  After their treatment there, they went to Andrews and on to Walter Reed.  We watched it on tv yesterday and it was kind of corny, but to regular people it's probably pretty good.  Here is the story on the internet.  Try to catch it running on CNN if you can!


http://afghanistan.blogs.cnn.com/2010/08/02/the-journey-home-from-the-frontlines-of-war/

What I Have Learned in Afghanistan

My friend, Lucinda Valenti, wrote this.  She was our chaplain until a few weeks ago.  I thought this had a lot of truth to it.



Things I have learned in Afghanistan:
-It is okay for a big burly Marine to hold his badly hurt buddy’s hand  while they are lying on stretchers waiting to be loaded on an airplane to go home.
-It is okay for nurses to cry over pts.
-It is okay for me to cry with the nurses.
-It is okay for me to sit in the middle of the hallway praying with a soldier for his buddy lying in ICU.
-It is okay to laugh when an 18 yr. old soldier says-“Afghanistan is not so bad except for the bullets.” (Said as he lying on a gurney shot up).
-It is okay to call in help when the patient I am talking to goes into Cardiac Arrest.
-It is not okay for a patient to have a heart attack on my couch-especially when there is a perfectly good ER right down the hall.
-It is okay for me to claim foul when a child is hit, even if it is a “cultural norm”
-It is okay for me to have a little freak out after the bad guys have been stopped from coming over the fence by helicopters flying over my hut.
-It is okay for me to just be with patients and staff-nobody talking, just there.
-It is okay to do a doggie death notification when a distraught daddy stateside needs to tell his daughter (who is a 1st time deployer, 4 days in Afghanistan) that he accidently killed her beloved pet.

-It is okay to laugh hysterically with the Rabbi at 2 in the morning over absolutely nothing.

-It is okay to “bag” (perform breathing resuscitation procedures) and pray at the same time

-It is not okay to “lose it” in the middle of a child dying but it is okay to “lose it” a little when you get back to your office and the door is closed.

-It is okay to think “really God-there is a purpose for all of this?” It is not okay for that thought to paralyze me.

-It is okay to pray the same prayer day in and day out-God protect our Soldiers, Airmen, Marines and Sailors and if they come through my Trauma Bay please guide the Doctors, Techs and Nurses hands and hearts.  

-It is okay to know that sometimes it just a different kind of crazy every day

-It is okay to teach 20 Afghan young men the meaning of “Y’all”

-It is okay to be very impressed with President Obama when he tells us he doesn’t know how we do what we do every day.

-It is okay to smile at the end of the day when you know you are a hospital chaplain when you empty your pockets and pull out a pulse O2 meter and 3 Saint Medallions 

Tired....

Yeah- that came from me.  I know I am always doing a million things at time.  I like to have my cake and eat it too and I like to do it a 100 mph.

But this week, I'm tired.  I'm tired every morning when I get up.  Tired when I go to sleep.  Tired during my workouts.  After my 4th bad run in a row on Monday I realized that I had increased my bike mileage and my running mileage simultaneously and I was not getting enough sleep either.  Saturday, my long run day, I had planned before bed for 11 miles, got up and decided the usual 10 would be fine, and by my 3rd miserable mile I decided that 8 would be even better.  All 8 miles were horrible.  That was after I got up at 0445, put 

my eyes in, brushed my teeth, got half way dressed, got undressed and started back for the bed, then got re-dressed and left.  I should have stayed in bed.  All 8 miles were horrible.  Rested on Sunday.  Ran 8 miserable miles on Monday and realized I needed a rest.  Did only 24 EASY miles on the bike Tues, ran a miserable 2.6 miles Wed, 20 more EASY miles on Thursday, and then I hit today.  Got up at 0445 as usual.  Put the eyes in, brushed the teeth.  Tried to think of what I wanted to do today (today is my do whatever sounds good day).  Nothing sounded good.  Gym sounded horrible.  Running sounded miserable.  Not even the bike sounded good.  So I remembered Saturday and went back to bed.  I slept for 90 more minutes.  Missed Grand Rounds.  And went to work feeling great.  I felt so great that I went after work and did the elliptical for 45 min.  Then I still had some energy, so I ran a mile totally barefoot around the hospital.  Stepped on a big rock, but other than that, it was great!  Now, I have to remember to go to bed on time and see what how far I feel like running in the morning.  If I feel good, I'll do 6 and if I don't, I won't.  Gotta rest sometimes.

Injured Vs. Killed... A Different Kind of War

The traditional thought in previous wars has been that it is more advantageous to “our” side to injure, rather than kill, the enemy.  This is because it takes up a lot more medical resources from the other side to take care of their wounded soldiers than their dead soldiers.  That’s the reason that full metal jacket bullets are the standard, rather than bullets that fragment.  Bullets that stay intact will cause localized damage and only kill if they hit a vital target.  Fragmenting bullets cause significant tissue damage and are much more likely to kill.  Also, the Hague Convention specifically prohibits fragmenting bullets.  And bullets that explode if they are aimed at a person.  Speaking of Conventions, the Geneva Conventions prohibit tear gas in war, but allows Napalm.  I don't really profess to understand that one.
 
In contrast to most of history, the US has taken on responsibility for caring for the wounded that are caused by us.  So our hospital is mostly full of Afghans.  We care for US and coalition forces, civilians injured due to US or coalition action, plus Afghan National Army (ANA) and Police (ANP) that are injured.  We also take care of any enemy that are injured on the battle field.  The unit that injures them collects them after the battle and puts them into the US medical system.  They are required to supply a guard and then we take care of them in our hospital.  Also, we take care of all the medical needs of the prison detainees (the DFIP- Detainee Facility in Parwan; that’s the province we are in- this is the Guantanamo Bay equivalent right here on Bagram).  There is a full complement of medical specialists at the prison to care for any need they might have.  If they need surgery, even most elective surgeries, we provide it.  Those guys come with two guards from the prison.

Our prisoners get top care.  They get the same exact compassionate care that any American or coalition forces would get.  If the enemy is more injured than an American, he gets treated first.  They get state of the art orthopedic and plastic surgery.  They get reconstructive surgery.  They get fed and cared for.  This can be pretty stressful on our nurses and technicians because sometimes these patients are not as grateful for their care as the Americans are.  We go into care-giving because it feels good.  When people are spitting at us or trying to resist care, it's hard to feel good.  But our medics are heroes and even when they feel in their hearts that they don't care, they act like they do.

Bottom line, is…if we only injure them, it causes a drain on our resources, not the enemy’s.  What a change in the way we prosecute a war!  That’s not to say it’s any better or any worse.  It just is.  I understand the benefit of keeping these prisoners for interrogation purposes.  Plus, we are living in an age where ethics are a bit different than they used to be.  There are a lot of politics involved in our current situation.  It’s not my place to pass judgment on the reason WHY we have changed how we operate.  I just thought it was an interesting turn of events.

Afghan Dinner

I just came from eating one of the best meals since I have been here.  It's my third time eating Afghan food and I have not had a bad dish yet!  Our interpreters like to have meals periodically and they invite the docs to share.  The wife of one of the interpreters cooks massive amounts of food.  It's good to know to plan for these meals because there is so much food!  Today we had basmati rice (with cinnamon, raisins, carrots, and meat), the best okra in the world (cooked with microscopic bits of tomato and who knows what else but also some kind of yellow oil), potatoes cooked with the same yellow oil and onions, chicken, and naan (the flat bread).  Oh my goodness!  The bread is so good soaked in the oily stuff!  Anyway, I practically have to fast all day to be able to eat a plate load- but somehow I managed!

One of the interpreters is leaving in a few weeks with eight other Afghans to come to America to live permanently on visa.  Right now, he drives 2 hours to work and 2 hours home every day to Kabul.  He will get a visa to live and work in the US (he is going to California, where apparently, there is a large Afghan population).  Our government and an aid organization will help him pay for a plane ticket, rent, buy clothes and food, and help him find a job.  He has to pay some or all of it back (I wasn't real clear on that point).  He has a wife who speaks little English, but she was enrolled in a private university (not sure where- here, I think) taking computer science and he says she's very smart and will learn English quickly.  He also has a 2 year old and a 6 month old.  He is so happy to be going to America.  The program is set up so that if they work closely with Americans for a year, and fill out a bunch of paperwork and pass the background check, they can get to America.

Our interpreters put themselves at risk by working for us.  They don't allow themselves to be photographed when reporters come.  They can't park a car outside the gate because someone may put a bomb under it.  There are plenty of people working for the Americans off base who have had their families threatened.  So for them to work for us can be very dangerous.  But this program is a way to reward them for their sacrifice.  And our interpreters are all smart and have skills to contribute to American society.  Some of them are doctors.  Three of the women (the only women) are all American citizens and are allowed to live on base.  They all speak at least 4 languages, some as many as 6 or 7.  They are very nice and are a pleasure to talk with.

And they make great food!

Waiting

Every night I go to bed and every morning I wake up surprised that nothing happened.  When I first got here, we got attacked almost every week.  In late April, it slowed down and we got attacked in mid-May.  Since then, they are still few and far between, so I keep wondering when the next one will come.  So..I wait.  And every morning I wake up surprised that I slept through the night.

And....I'm waiting to go home.  I'm still really liking my work.  We're still doing some awesome stuff here.  but it's starting to get old.  I feel like things at home are moving on without me. I'm sure they miss me, but it's hard to be here while they are there.  So I wait to go home.  10 more weeks and I should be there.  In the meantime, I wait.

Afghanistan Pictures

This one is a Pararescue squadron helicopter.  One like this was shot down 2 weeks ago and killed four pararescue men from our base.  Their motto is "that others may live" and their symbol is 2 green footprints.  

This is the view off the top of the Korean hospital here on base.  They really didn't want us going to close to the edge- we were a good sniping target.  It's beautiful.  Too bad it's so dangerous out there.

I was walking back from the dining hall one evening and saw this perfect photo op.