Coming Home Soon

If all goes according to plan, two weeks from today I leave for home.  (Don't tell the kids!  We'll let them know when it's solid).  You would think that I would be ecstatic about this, but I will confess that there are mixed feelings.  Everyone has them, but most people don’t talk about them.  Going home is wonderful and hard at the same time.  I’ve done this a few times now- once after 3 months and once after 1 month- but never after this long.  Jack has been at home with the kids and they have been living their separate lives.  They eat what they want (I can only imagine!!), go to bed when they want, do whatever.  I have no control over that stuff from here.  Jack is a wonderful dad and I rarely worry about the kids when they are in his care, but he is a different parent than me and it has been all him for 6 months.  He watches what he wants on tv, goes out when he wants, comes in when he wants and never has to check in with me.  Then there’s me and what I have been doing for 6 months.  I get up when I want, go to the gym, basically come and go as I  please and rarely check in with anyone.  I take off during the day if I feel like it.  My stress levels are low.  The work is manageable.  And fun. 


When I get home, it all changes. I can’t wait to see my family again.  I miss my kids and I miss my husband.  I am looking forward to so many things, like wearing a dress, wearing my hair down, cooking, walking barefoot in the grass, shopping, hanging with friends, drinking wine, going out to restaurants, going to my kids sporting events, and a million other things.  But life is so simple here!  I work out, work, eat, read and sleep. 

Another side of having been here is I have learned that I love the low stress life.  Makes me re-evaluate what I want out of life.  I miss clinical medicine.  I have leadership aspirations in the Air Force, but there is a lot of stuff I just don't like.  A lot of the minutia is a pain in the butt and I just don’t care.  I’d like to see how far I can go up the food chain, but I’m starting to think that’s just not much fun.  I loved my teaching job and I love seeing patients.  But then I think- I can do that when I retire.  Which I can do in just 4-5 years- wow!!!  I have a business plan in mind and have even started to think of names for my practice.  By then, I want to work for fun.


 I can't wait to get home, but I know from experience that transitions are hard.  Expectations are high.  For some families, it doesn’t go well.  I hope it goes well for us.