Communication

Egads! Is there any area in a relationship more fraught with danger than communication? My husband and I get a long great. We used to talk about all kinds of things like our dreams, hopes and fears. Seems that now we now the answers to those questions, there’s not a whole lot to talk about except the business of life. What time do the kids need to be at their sports? What time are we going to our friends’ house over the weekend? What’s for dinner and who’s cooking it? But one thing we have discovered over the years is that we think completely differently. There is no possible way that I could guess how he will think about a plan. I know his values and I know his politics. But when it comes to the process of thinking….that’s where it all falls apart. If we get separated and I assume that we’ll just meet back we start, he’ll assume we will meet back where we were supposed to end. If I think a problem through in one direction, he’ll invariably think it through a different way. And goodness! It’s that different way that causes so much trouble!

I was reading the difference today between thinking styles. He is very detail oriented and takes things one step at a time and in order. I’m more of a big picture person. I prefer to make plans and leave the details to someone else, if it’s going to take a long time. Maybe that’s where part of the problem is. Plus, in a discussion, we have to have the “he said, she said” autopsy of the conversation when there’s a miscommunication. He says he wants to prove who’s right. I think he needs to prove he’s right! But I think another problem is that I think things in my head and I think I said them out loud, but I didn’t. I can understand how that might cause some consternation!

Oh well. As I look over this, it looks like just a bunch of random thoughts about communication differences. That’s Ok. This is a blog, not a scientific journal!