Prepping for Deployment

Well, the time is getting close. I’ve got my uniforms and they have all the stuff sewn on them. I just need to soak them in Permethrin for 3 hours- it’s a mosquito repellent and lasts through several washings. Afghanistan has malaria and malaria is spread by mosquitoes. We take medications to prevent malaria, but it’s better to never get bitten by the evil vector in the first place. I’ve got long underwear, but it’s made for men and does not fit my body type at all, so I’ll be leaving that home. They also gave me knee and elbow pads. I just can’t imagine what I will do with those! I bought four new sets of PT uniforms, including some new sweatshirts. We are not allowed to wear any civilian clothes, only uniforms or PT uniforms. And laundry is unreliable, so it’s hard to predict if you send some away, when it will come back! I’ve got two gigantic duffle bags to put it all in, plus a couple of awesome military backpacks. When I return home from TDY next week, I’ll go through all my personal items and see what else I need. Yesterday, I went over to public health and then to my doc in flight medicine and got six months of my few personal meds and my malaria prevention meds. I have never come home with a shopping bag full of drugs before! I felt like an elderly person! It would be nice to think that I could get a resupply while there, but that might be possible.

I’ve talked to the person I’ll be replacing and he says I’ll be in a dorm building with my own room. Most of the personnel are in “B-huts”. Not sure what an A-hut or a C-hut is, but a B-hut is a plywood building with walls that do not go all the way to the top and about 6-8 people live there. It’s freezing in winter and boiling in summer. It’s best to take ear plugs. Conversations are not private and people basically get sick of being near each other. I guess being a commander will have its privileges. I’ll also have access to cable and internet in the room if I want to pay for it.

Yesterday I sat with our psychologist for about 30 minutes and discussed resiliency. It’s an interesting concept. PTSD is caused by extraordinary events happening to ordinary people. But not everyone exposed to trauma gets PTSD. The reasons why have been getting a lot of attention recently. There is a theory that some people are naturally more resilient than others and thus are more resistant to the effects of trauma. Optimists are more resilient than pessimists. People with strong family ties are more resilient than those who don’t have that. And people who engage in positive self talk do better as well. I think I’m pretty resilient. I tend to get over things pretty quickly, sometimes faster than I think I should. Sometimes I feel I should care more than I do and wonder maybe something is wrong because I don’t. My concern is that as the commander, the one responsible for the well being of my airmen, I want to be able to help my people be resilient. I want to be able to recognize when they are not doing well and to help them get help when they need it. That is the main function of a commander. Anyone can run meetings, set policy, and sign paperwork. But the main job of the commander is to take care of their people, both professionally and personally.

In my last command, I would frequently exhort my airmen to be careful and not get hurt, because I couldn’t imagine having to make the phone call home to tell their mother what had happened to them. I never said it out loud, but I really was concerned that it would happen on my watch and that there might been something I could have done to prevent it and would have carried guilt forever. My goal for this deployment is to take great care of patients and to take great care of my airmen. I want them to go home intact- both physically and mentally. The patients already come to us damaged, but if I can take care of the folks who take care of them, then I will be successful.