Figured it Out

With a lot of soul searching and talking to people who know me this week, I have figured out a bit of what was wrong.   I still feel yucky and still feel like my job is sort of meaningless.  But at least I think I have figured out why.

First- I mentioned in my last post that I have been working on my boss's projects and not mine.  I have not had the time to do the things that I have wanted at work, such as the Family Health Initiative which is the Air Force's Medical Home project. I've also been wanting to do some stuff with peer review.  At the Military Health Conference last week week I was able to learn a lot about FHI and have plans to go home and implement.  So now I have a project and plan to start seeing clinic again.  I think that will help tremendously.

The other thing that I realized is that I get a bit depressed every winter.  I discovered this with the help of a friend a few years ago and discovered the St Johns Wort does the trick.  I usually remember some time in December when I get to feeling exactly like I have been feeling this week- useless at work, hopeless about the future, and feeling like I'm not doing a very good job at home either, not to mention complete laziness at home.  This year, maybe I was just too busy to notice how bad I felt and plus I was getting a few hours of sunlight on Saturdays when I ride my bike.  So, now here it is late January, and I'm finally figuring it out.  One year I did really well when I put it on my calendar to start taking my meds in November.

So now I have a plan and feel much better.  Start my project and start my meds.  Yay!